So today I realized the depression stage is coming around again.
I was shopping for presents for Christmas, some thing I usually love doing. But on my way home I found I was numb, blank, just doing a job. That's when I realized what was coming, the black wave of depression.
Time to start making schedules for myself things I must do each day. Things to keep me going.
Strange as it may seem to some of you, I have to plan for theses ups and down else I can do damage to my family, manic i spend to much and depression i wont get out of bed for days, so I plan.
I declare war on my own self in a way. To fight against what i feel and think so i can still carry on as the me in my head plans.
I call depression the black wave for me first I go emotionally numb, grey, neither happy or sad. Like the emotional water is being pulled from my mind into the wave that will crash sending me into the black of depression.
This is the hardest time to stay on my medication as I don't see a point to do anything during these times, I become more robotic then person, I'm locked in my head drowning in the black numb. I take care of my kids and husband as best I can during these times. They are my life line in the cold dark waters of my mind.
So I schedule. get up dressed my life becomes a To Do list that I tick off.
Has my medication levels stabilize again I wont go as deep into those cold waters but I still prepare. Just in case.
leave a comment about what you would like information on or your own way experience.
Don't forget to sign up to follow This honest look into my life and bipolar.
I was shopping for presents for Christmas, some thing I usually love doing. But on my way home I found I was numb, blank, just doing a job. That's when I realized what was coming, the black wave of depression.
Time to start making schedules for myself things I must do each day. Things to keep me going.
Strange as it may seem to some of you, I have to plan for theses ups and down else I can do damage to my family, manic i spend to much and depression i wont get out of bed for days, so I plan.
I declare war on my own self in a way. To fight against what i feel and think so i can still carry on as the me in my head plans.
I call depression the black wave for me first I go emotionally numb, grey, neither happy or sad. Like the emotional water is being pulled from my mind into the wave that will crash sending me into the black of depression.
This is the hardest time to stay on my medication as I don't see a point to do anything during these times, I become more robotic then person, I'm locked in my head drowning in the black numb. I take care of my kids and husband as best I can during these times. They are my life line in the cold dark waters of my mind.
So I schedule. get up dressed my life becomes a To Do list that I tick off.
Has my medication levels stabilize again I wont go as deep into those cold waters but I still prepare. Just in case.
leave a comment about what you would like information on or your own way experience.
Don't forget to sign up to follow This honest look into my life and bipolar.
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